AGAIN…

again and again… again and again… have been thinking of the same case all the time… knowing the facts… knowing the shoulds and shouldnts… but… still wondering what will be the final decision… and when will be the FINAL?

have been telling myself that i am having the control, i can control myself, control my feelings… blablabla… but then, the fact is I CANT… it seems like i am just like a loser now (maybe SOMEONE is right, SOMEONE told me that i am currently letting him pulling my nose to walk)… and also been telling myself that, he might change, he might feel it sooner or later… i have been trying my best to be a better person, to NOT to do things that he thinks are not right… but then, still never change his mind or he still thinks that i am not a good person… or perhaps he is the one who wanna be a bad person all the time…? or perhaps a bad guy like him doesnt deserve a good girl like me… oh well~

and again, been telling myself to END it ASAP in order to avoid more sadness in the future, and i really MEAN it and HOPING for it… but, still looking for the best way, best time to do so… wish me luck then~