Month: August 2009

I had a great weekend I must admit, a GATHERINGS weekend! Busy and fun!!

Went to Phuture with the CHKL gang to celebrate WheiMeng’s birthday… SO MANY people were there, damn fun!! It was like a MINI CHKL gathering… Then, I managed to pull Adwin and gang to go there as well… But Daniel asked me to go and his phone’s battery was dead and he didn’t come to look for me!! MA DE!! To be honest, that was the BEST PHUTURE NIGHT EVER!!! Loving it so so so much!!

Then, met up with MunYee and Jamy for lunch on Sunday… Then, met up with the Melbourne-Lai Meng gang for dinner as well… HAHAHHAHAHA… We are slowly moving the gang back to KL!! Although Audrey and YeeBing were only back for holidays… BUT, they will be back soon, I HOPE!! Glad to have so many people around again!! =)

BUT, damn it… Facebook is killing me!! I have been TRYING to upload those pictures since last night, but the error is annoying the hell out of me!! ARRGGGGHHHH…

I have to upload them!! ISH!!

Well, it’s a very LAST SECOND decision, Cheryl called me in the afternoon, and had to decide within 10 minutes, and then had to ask for permission to apply for days off… And, yes we are leaving to Jakarta soon…

But after that impulsive decision, I started to think more… About the bombing, H1N1, kidnap, got lost, unable to communicate… I became so worried… Further more, the 2 unknown guys that coming along, they are Cheryl’s friends, but I don’t know them… The uneasy feeling… Then, I started forwarding out uncountable SMSes to possible and impossible people to ask them if they would want to join the trip, until a few of them got back to me by asking me if the message was sent to the wrong people… I was just so desperate and just wanted to randomly got at least someone to go with me, at least, that makes me feel safer… But, in the end, there was only one interested one, but Cheryl told me not to, because one more person makes things not so convenient…

Well…

Oh, and I saw Calvin Fong at Daidomon while I was having dinner with Tien Sheng… It was a surprise eh, OH BY THE WAY MR CALVIN FONG, WHERE IS MY PRADA? Ish… And, ER, I don’t think the Daidomon is good… Not going there again…

Anyway, wish us good luck and will be back safely in one piece… Hopefully that I will be updating this blog with a great Jakarta trip…

Flying off soon… I guess… I will be back at home again…

Obviously, I would want my BF to be close with all my family and friends, because he is my ANOTHER HALF, so I would share them with him… But then, I thought all these connections should only last during the period where we are together, and not after that…

At least, when we are apart, I should bring everything together with me… I don’t look for you or your anyone even if I really need something from them… I don’t want to talk to them and address myself as xxx’S EX…

Maybe, this is only me… I don’t understand why people still want to CLING on MY PEOPLE… And, I am so tired of people telling me… “HEY, XXX called me that day”… BLABLABLA… Then, I would have to again remind myself of this person… Can’t you just go away? Silently? I seriously don’t want to SEE or HEAR anything about the PAST… I don’t remember introducing you many of my friends, but so far, I think I have already heard about you calling them from ALL OF THEM…

I think this should work like a MLM organization chart, once you leave a branch, everything under it should be left together…

I seriously WISH and PRAY that I don’t hear your name from anyone anymore…

Was told that SOMEONE has already appeared, and is IN FRONT OF MY EYES, and was told to stop choosing… I really wonder, and still wondering, WHO would that be… Mainly because, there is nobody that is REALLY showing any action…

Even if there is, I am not sure what to do with him… I am not sure what I want, I am not sure what is it going to be like, I am not sure if I am ready… So many unknown answers, I seriously think that I am just meant to be alone…

Maybe, I have had enough, I have failed enough, I really don’t feel like trying anymore…

I have been asked this question lately…

“What kind of a person are you looking for?”

I really don’t know… I might know what I want, but I might not know if I really want to change my current life, which I am pretty happy with… I might not be ready for another disappointment, thus, might not even want to hope for it…

But then on the other hand, if I really have to be with that someone, that someone who is already appeared and IN FRONT OF ME… I hope that this someone is the someone that I have been longing for, and he belongs to me…

I don’t understand why, I don’t understand myself… Why can’t things be easier? Why can’t I stop expecting? Why can’t I accept things easier? Why do I have to care so much?

All these are making my life very tiring, very disappointing…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… When will I start to learn to be nicer to myself as well as others?