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eRiCCa

I Hate Myself…

i hate myself for being a person that people dislike me and especially feeling disappointed at me…

i am always being selfish, i am always doing things that i do without thinking of the results… without thinking of other people… all i know that it’s my life, i have the right to be good, be bad… it’s my choice… but… i often feel sorry for my actions that hurt some people out there… i have made people disappointed at my studies… i have made my buddies disappointed at my personal life… i have made my darling feeling disappointed at my words… i have made my kor feeling disappointed at my moves… in fact, i have been disappointing myself most of the time…

i always feeling regret after doing something… and start telling myself not to repeat again… but then again and again… it’s repeating all the time… till… i already feel NUMB of the feeling of regret… i always know what’s gonna happen, and i should just avoid it to happen… but, i have never done so!! all i do… i just let it to happen and then feel regret later…

when something is wrong you try to repair first…if try and try…use this way, use what that way….still cannot…then onnie “throw away” one…..everything is precious…cannot simply “throw” away unless it is the only way….
please throw me away, probably i am helpless… it’s the only way… never ever recycle me… it will become another rubbish…

do you know how disturbing it is?????of course you don’t…all you think abt is yourself!!!!!…little girl acting like adult!!!!
i am selfish… i am not even a qualified adult…

damn sad…more than sad actually….disappointed?…..disgusted?….this is so frustrating…feel like killing someone now….but feel kinda numb now too…..guess…it balances out huh? confused…confused….oh what should I do?
WHY WHY WHY!! i really didnt mean it… if killing someone can make you happier, please kill me, it’s my fault… and please take me out of this world, i am tired of being a ME like this… i want to be NOTHING!! i dont bring happiness to this world but all the negatives…

5 replies on “I Hate Myself…”

dear cousin.. u gotta re-build ur self-confidence again. ur self-confidence level now is negative.. come on.. if u don wan to disappoint people, then try putting urself in their shoes. gambahte!

i really dunno what u try to do next?? juz being urselves is wrong then there is nothing better than doing the things u love!
remember feeling regrets or sorry for the something u done is not a good way to express apologize……always think before u take any action!
lil princess always a lil princess…gaurdian angel will always protect u what ever u done.

i think you gonna cool down first ler. tho i don’t really know you. but i dont think you’re that useless, ok? i can see that you have a lot of friends and a kor who care about you. you know it too, right?

if you’re just going to give up on yourself like this, this is seriously going to be the final disappointment for them. got what i mean?

its okay to feel so down once in a while. but dont let it control your mind.

cheers! i wish to see the happy ericca again!

aiks….dun be so sad larrr…u still hav loklok and the garfield mar….ahaha…hope tomolo will be better and everything is fine…just simply be a happier bibi…cheers ya..!

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