Real Sadness…

well… people usually think that i am always happy… that i am having a good life, nothing to worry… have friends around me and with so many interesting plans going on and on… I LOOK HAPPY…

yea, that’s true, that’s what i want people to see from me… i mean, it’s no point to show people how sad i am, while telling them wont change the situation a bit… beside listening to ‘dont worry’, ‘it’ll be fine’, ‘things cant be changed’… blablabla… yea, i know… so basically i dont need anyone to tell me about it, so i decided not to tell though… the only way is to act happy and make people happy…

but sometimes when things go really wrong, and really depressed… i feel better voicing it out, but i try not to do so… as i dont want to bother other people with my problems… so, if anyone so unluckily being SELECTED to be my listener… sorry man i would say, as that’s the time that i seriously wanna voice out, else i think i would go *pooooooooof* and *gone*

and yea, i am feeling down now… and yea, i know that basically i cant do much… but… i am just feeling unwell… =(

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today was my first day working in Better Choice… it’s known as a GIFT SHOP, it has so many things, from towels, toys, food, ciggies, cutlery, trolleys… even BONGs too!! it’s something like those 2-dollars-shops that look kinda dodgy and no-class… but heck, it’s on the infamous CHAPEL ST man!! sounds high class already… *grinz* the work was alright, people are all nice people… pretty easy job BESIDE that i have to memorise like ALL KIND OF CIGGIES available in the shop… it’s such a tough task, especially a non-smoker like me… they have like so many freaking hell brands from all over the world… from the famous ones like marlboro, dunhill, B&H to horizon, winfield, holiday… even some indonesian brand, china brand like double happiness? *wtf* dont worry about the brands… in fact, the craziest is to recognise the sizes and the colors, as well as the ALTERNATIVE names for each of them *pengsan*

OH by the way, there is this hongkong brand ciggy with FRUITS flavoured… i was like *WOW*… so CoOoOOOoOOoOoL!! strawberry flavoured with pink color packaging and even the ciggy itself is PINK color!! *weeeeheeeeee* and it smells like a strawberry stick too!! there is this urge in me saying that ‘I WANT TO LEARN SMOKING NOW’… just because of these cutie ciggies… and i think… those are suitable for KIDS!! *HAHAHHAAHA*

most of the things were fine… oh yea, they have staff price too, which is a 50% off!! *yeay* i didnt know it at first but i already wanted to buy something as i need those things and the prices are cheap enough… and WHO KNOWS!! 50% discount!! woohoooo~~~ that made them even cheaper… *syiokkkkkkkkkkk* and my boss said ‘wah, first day working and you already started buying things’… =P

now, i am tired like farks… i only slept for 3 hours last night… 1st thing was because i was trying to force myself to sleep but couldnt sleep at all… then this JEFF CHEE called *another NEW JEFF, this is like the nth JEFF in my life since MY DAD the JEFF CHIN*… talking nonstop for 1.5 hours… *ouch* already around 4am and worst was I STILL NOT SLEEPY!! i then had to count those sheeps one by one in order to get me to sleep *shiatzzzzzzz*

ok… time to sleepz… tomorrow still have to work… i am now a girl who earns for her own living… my mom doesnt give me allowance anymore… i am now VERY TIGHT!! in other words, i am POOR!! =( *nightz*