Author: eRiCCa

I mean seriously, I think this is the worst that I can expect to happen in my life, being jobless and loveless, that’s it… I mean, I really don’t expect myself to be homeless and foodless afterall, not that bad ok…

Now, to me, it’s the worst scenario that is happening to me!! I am officially feeling the economy downturn, as in, I am officially made redundant by the company, oh wait, is that the right word to use? Ah whatever, I was supposed to leave on the 12th of December, but now they are giving me 4 weeks notice, which mean I am made to leave on the 5th December… WTF… Only ONE WEEK difference, what the hell for? Apparently, it’s a BIG earthquake in the company, many are having the same faith…

And for loveless, I don’t have to say this, AS USUAL I would say…

But both happening together, this is something new to me!! WTF!!

Can I choose to believe that this is the MAX already? And then the GOODS will come to me already?

I have been told to BE GOOD all the time recently, I wonder, am I that NOT GOOD huh?

I guess so, I know my own problems, I know my own weaknesses, I know everything… But, is that easy to just change like that? It’s not that I don’t want to change, it really takes TIME and MOTIVATION…

Everytime when I read the “BE GOOD”, I tend to remind myself that YES I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I HAVE TO BE GOOD, in fact, BE BETTER!! Especially my emotions!! Even I myself is sick of my own emotions!! I would never expect anyone to be able to accept that…

I guess, Ericca MINUS emotion is a very lovely lady!! I guess, I should send myself to the ARMY, to learn how to be emotionless!! WTF…

OK, Ericca, BE GOOD!!

Which means I have more free time at home to do nonsense, and especially THINK nonsense… If I were given a chance to change ONE THING of myself, seriously I need a NEW BRAIN with a PROPER MIND… I hate my mind for not thinking straight all the time…

Being the most inconsiderate, most annoying, most selfish, most immature person in this world, I deserve to be BRAINLESS!!! How I wish that I have BIG BOOBS, so that I don’t have a brain to think…

EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO

It might be just a fantasy, it might be the excitement, it might be the loneliness, it might be even FOR REAL… But, I just can’t handle all these… AT ALL…

But, I am still hoping to know the outcome ONE DAY… ONE FINE DAY… I don’t wish to ruin anything… NO PLEASE…

OR…

It’s just a little crush…

空著的心房… 空虛…

I hate being emo… I hate myself for being dependent… I hate to expect too much… I hate the current situation…

I am afraid that I can’t wait for the 6 weeks to come by…
I am afraid that I will explode before that…
I am afraid that I will give up very soon…

Please behave and control!!
Be a B.I.T.C.H!!
Babe In Total Control of Herself.

My Emotion has been like the recent share market, DOWN DOWN DOWN a bit of UP, then DOWN again, then a fair bit of UP, then DOWN…

Well, 6 more weeks to go… Looking forward to the SINGAPORE TRIP… I really hope that will turn out great and may that be one of the best trips that I have ever been to…

Praying hard…

I have been in a depression lately because of the freaking AUD, so bad!! All my dreams of bringing AUD back to KL to exchange to a GOOD amount of RM just vanished like that!! =(

I seriously couldn’t believe that SGD is stronger than AUD now…

And how am I going to survive with this tiny amount of RM that I have ar… DIE LAR!!

Or, a brighter side, it’s time for me to move back to KL!! All the while, I thought earning AUD was so good, you could exchange it to good RM value… But now, the ONLY REASON no longer exist… It’s even worse than SGD, for no reason that I should stay!!

Not only that, this freaking AUD makes my online shopping experience to the worst!! Everything is just so expensive after the conversion… NIABEH!!

Bah, like what ZhanShen said, LIFE SUCKS!!!

Answer? – Unknown –

Been quite a few times when my mom told me that HE has been meeting up with my brothers, I thought I would want to know why, what and how… But, I didn’t ask a question, in fact, I ignored… But, it seems that I want to know something, but I just don’t want to ask, or scared to know? Or maybe I really don’t want to know… Seriously, the answer is UNKNOWN. I don’t even know what I want…

Quite a few people asked me, will I get back together with him IF there is a chance… Seriously, again, UNKNOWN. I really can’t tell. I might, and I might not.

I feel like I’m an ostrich, I just want to hide, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to ask, I don’t want to think…

曾經,想過著一些平凡正常的生活,決定了改變…

可是…

現在的我,很想放縱自己…

It seems like many people THOUGHT that I got back with him, hence the previous post about PROMISES… But now, it’s not like that…

Apparently, those were the promises to DarDar, not my new BF, but a long lost friend of mine. I used to talk to him a lot, but then ignored him for some reasons, then talked to him again when I needed someone to talk to.

I felt so bad when he said this to me…

“Although you might be not talking to me again in the future, I really hope that I can spend some time with you to help you to get through this period.”

Thus, I promised him that I will never not talk to him anymore, I want him to know that I really appreciate his company these days. He talks to me whenever he has the time because he knows that I need someone to be there… He makes sure that I get to bed early…

He even said that…

“You can call my room phone to wake me up if you need someone to talk to even it’s 5am.” Because he has his mobile phone on silent when he goes to sleep, and because I told him that I have nobody to talk to when I wake up at 8am Melbourne time, 5am Malaysian time during the weekends.

I asked him what he wants as a return, he said he wants some Santa chocolates from Australia IF WE ARE STILL TALKING TO EACH OTHER, and if we don’t, he wants me to be happy.

This person, I am keeping him, my DarDar, someone that really helps me a lot during this period and also makes me smile…

You have my promise,

I will never not talking to you anymore…
I will treat you with all my heart…
I will not suspect your sincerity anymore…
I will be good…
I will listen to you…

Although I don’t need your promise, I still hope that you will not disappoint me, that you will always try your best to spend time with me… =)

54 more days to get you to babysit me… LALALALLALAAA~~~