god… my first paper has been CERTIFIED!! yea… it has got itself a DEATH certificate!! cool man!! what the hell… how am i going to go for the coming exams… really no mood at all lar… haiihzzz… damn lonely somemore now… i am home alone AGAIN, what’s new? god!! *speechless*
oh my god… i am now in melbourni uni library doing my very last revision for this stooopid MA!! and i will be sitting for the exam in a few hours time!! damn it… damn scared lar weik… no mood to study edi… the brain is so empty now man!! bless me!! *no eye see*
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I love my MOMMIE~~~~
hehehehe… i love my MOMMIEEEE~~~~ lalalalala~~~
yea, i was chatting with my mom in msn today, and she was asking how’s my exam this and that… oh no… then i just poured out everything in my mind… telling her how stressed this and that… haiihzz… she kept asking me to study slowly, not to rush for it, dont be so stressed… she even told me if this time cannot then can take again, no worries… i was like HUH!!! wow… so nice man!! but i am not allowing myself to fail lar… no no no!! and i am really so happy to have such a super understanding mommiee… and the other surprise was my brother… he taught me how to study man!! what the… he is only 15 years old and he was telling me the right way to study not to stress myself!! wow… this is why i misss my home so much… everyone is so nice to me!! they are so supportive!!
really man, now i notice, once i am not at home only i realise how nice my home is… i used to dislike my mom so much for being so strict to me last time!! just cant imagine that i wasnt allowed to go out with friends during high school days, no night out… all i did was to give lame excuses to go out… haiihzz… how sad… just like a BIRD in the cage!! but then, she is much better nowadays, she is so OPEN now, and i am so FREE now… =) she used to be a VERY MOM to me, showing me the MOM face and attitude all the time… but then, she is now more like a friend to me, i feel more comfortable talking to her this way, i can joke and tease… it’s fun!! i like to address her as Auntie Choo Kim Len and she likes to call me by my full name Naughty Chin Vian Yee as well… hahaha… it’s kinda weird but i like it… =P hmm… when i was at home, i used to talk a lot of bullshits and non-stop bla-ing the most updated gossips to her, telling lame jokes, but then she couldnt get the jokes, iissh… how ST***PID!! ehehhe… but i was also a good girl always helped her with stuffs, although most of the time i was just standing beside and talking non-stop to her, my main purpose was to relax her!! ahahha… but then she always complained that i was too noisy and asked me to get lost… haiihzz… too bad!! wondering, she must be missing the noisy me around disturbing and entertaining her days…
my brothers!!! so damn annoying!! i used to hate them loads man!! so naughty, so dumb, so irritating, so fat, so lazy…. so so so… and i was so happy that i need not to face them when i am away from home!! but then, i find that they are not that bad lar actually, we play gunbound and chat in msn nowadays, kinda fun though! there was once, my mom told me that my 2nd brother went out without telling her, and this guy didnt have a handphone with him that time… what the hell man… and i was like – how am i going to TRACE him while he is in kl and i am in melbourne!! – and guess what this genius sister did? she went into gunbound and looked for her brother!! and yea, this little kid was playing gunbound in his friend’s house… smart yea, and i started to crap to him saying that – if you dont wanna go home now, mommie said no need to go home edi, and i will call home after 15 minutes, and if you are not at home, you will get it!! – hahahaha, yea, i created that, but who cares, it worked!! =P and he went home… hahaha, so i called mom to tell her about that… and my mission was wonderfully completed!! yes!!
muaahahahahah~~~ sorrie for this lame blog as i am tooo happy edi, i can feel the love, the care, the support, the home… okok… i gotta get back to my NOTES edi… =) *muacks*
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I LOVE YOU….
i knew i love you… so? what can i do? i am doing nothing… you seem to be a wonderful and a nice person… but… why not you treating me that nice and wonderful always? i dont blame you for that, and i only blaming myself for falling for a wrong person… but, i am going to be responsible for that myself… =)
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i misss you baby…
yea yea yea… just come back from library… i miss my baby so much!!! here i come sayanging my baby… =P
last night, i called home… finally calling home after weeks… and i told mommie that i really very cham and sad… telling her how stressed i am how lonely i am… telling her how i wish i could go home… but she told me… ‘time flies, you are going to finish your studies soon, and that time you will be happy’… oh ma~~~ ok then, i think i will stay and TRY for another semester…
oh yea, i am planning what to do in this coming winter break… since everyone wont be around with me… and i will be a NEGLECTED CHILD very soon… so, i will be… hiding in my room, playing gunbound… watching drama series… sleeping days and nights… and oh yea, i am going to learn HOW TO COOK!! and vincent, you watch out!! i will be a good cook SOON!! so, i am going to surprise everyone with my wonderful cooking skill VERY SOON~~~ lalalallalala~~~
well… it’s 4am here, and i just got home from Lin Contro… didnt wanna go at first, coz… i coudlnt find a reason for myself to be there… but still i went with them…
it was so freaking boring at first… nothing was in my mind and it was only one word ‘bored’!! till then… i started to like there when i got myself a nice place to lean against the window, and they started playing some cool chinese songs like Jordan Chan’s songs rather than those trance musics… then i started to feel that those songs were my songs!! i started to feel so sad… listening to the lyrics… and suddenly… i miss you guys man!!! i really felt so down just now… i miss those moments we got to chat like mad about anything… miss those faces around… miss those lame jokes… miss those… everything!! and i looked at those people smoking in front of me… and i asked them… what if i wanna try out ciggies and drugs… hahaha… vincent said he would slap me, and he did slap on my face!! man… and… cheryl, asked me a funny question… it’s a simple question, but it was so hard for me to answer… hahaha… 3 ‘sat luen wong’ were sitting together while the cafe was playing ‘sat luen wong’ by Jordan Chan…
then, a few guys thought of going to drink more and i thought of following… to get drunk… ahhaha… but then… oops, no man!! i was the only girl… no way man!! how nice if i could just stay there… damn got feel man there!! at first, i didnt wanna go, then they forced me to go… then when i didnt wanna go home, they forced to go home… aiyerh!!!
i am getting mad soon coz of this dumb exam!!! everyday i gotta force myself to study study study… yet still… i dont understand much… wahlao… damn stressed weik!!! and… look at the number of days that i havent been to clubbing man!! wahlao… it’s like… lost count!! i promised myself, i gotta club KAO KAO after my exam… oh no… it’s on 25th of june, after my 3rd paper… my date with cheryl to hardkandy!! going to check out the new hardkandy… check out the chunnest melbourne shuffle… and yes, my plan will be one 151 then one beer, then another 151 then another beer… wow!! that should take me to heaven ler gua…!! hopefully…
Haih~~ I’m here to talk about love again. Love… What is love actually. i cant get myself a good answer. I read from some articles before. They said “Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.” Is it all about love?
Actually there are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words “I love you”. So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say “take care” or “sleep earlier” or “miss you” But really, these are just other ways of saying “I love you”, “you are important to me”, “I care what happens to you”, “I don’t want you to get hurt”. We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don’t say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted. Any expression of a person’s concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
After the love is gone. Everything was too late, even you are trying hard to retrieve. There is no way to get back what you had. Gone means gone. You have to accept the fact. When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there. Remember, we still have friends. And friends are used to comfort us at this moment. Thank god i still got friends. Cheers my friends!
i was on the phone with a friend just now (you know who you are, if you are reading this)… i really feel so sorry to you man… i know you are such a nice friend to me, and i really hope to share my things with you too… but… i am not used to it… and i dont know how to share, not that i DONT want to… hope you understand…
hmm… maybe i am not good in sharing gua… i really dont know how to share things… especially my own problems… maybe i know how to share happiness lar, gossips, jokes, nonsense and bullshits… but not problems lor… i really feel very hard to tell something, i dont like to tell either, i dont like people to give me advice… as i know that those are good ones, it’s just that, i cant follow… i have no confident, no courage to follow… so sometimes, i feel so bad when i trouble you guys with problems and you guys are being so nice to comfort me and advice me… but then, still my problems are still there and not solved… i feel so bad to waste your time and kindness… and i really appreciate it… thanx people… you guys should know who you are as well…
maybe i am being too stubborn or whatsoever, and i admit it… i have been trying hard to listen and follow, but then, i have always failed to do so… it’s just like, i wanna do, but i am unable to do it… and i always know what i should do, but then… there is always this invisible hand stops me from doing it… so, there is no wonder why i am always sad and so many problems, coz these problems are always there…
what i am doing is… always try to run away from the problems, hide it, start my pretended-happy-go-lucky life… and yes, i know i shouldnt do so, yet… i cant help… try to find some ways to destress to forget about them temporarily… and guess what, i have found this way, and again, i know it’s not a right way yet a very wrong way… still i find it kinda suit me… to get drunk!! recently, when i am unhappy, i always feel like drinking, oopsss, or maybe i should say drunking… at least, i am released for a moment… brain not functioning, no worries at all… *it’s not good, dont learn* wow, actually there are some other ways in my mind… but… should i say it out… but… dont scold me okie!! it’s like how about taking drugs? smoking? wow… *defending myself* okok… i am not going to touch it… hopefully yea… like what i said earlier, i am trying my very best to take GOOD care of myself, trying hard… hopefully i can get my parents a better daughter, get everyone a better friend, get this world a better person… and not a worse one…
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New Blogger~
Hi all, I’m new blogger to . : MaGiCLaND : . . Let me intro myself first. I’m Veron, currently studying in RMIT Uni at Australia. Oh yeah, I’m a Devil 
hahaa… an Unforgotten Devil.
I read an e-mail last night, so meaningful, so i decided to share with u all. Here we go :-
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The Fundamentals of Love
Think back to the day when you first laid eyes on her. You found yourself charmed by the way she talks, the way she dresses herself to show off her best features and the way she embraces life with her laughter. It seemed as if a mysterious “chemistry effect” has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her.
You two then began to meet regularly, and you discover more things that you admire about her. Her clever ideas, her healthy values and the way she stands up for you when others doubt you. You find yourself thinking of her not just as a normal friend, but a very good friend. It is often during this period that a boy and a gal will start thinking of bringing their friendship to another level. After all, the kind of wonderful experience you have between each other can only become even better if it develops into a romantic relationship. In other words, the feeling is really unique – no one else seems able to replace her in your heart.
So both of you agree to go steady and work even harder on the relationship. You “graduate” to become a couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.
When You Forget The Fundamentals
However, at some point in your relationship, you forgot how it all began.
You start to take your partner for granted. Why can’t she laugh in a more ladylike manner? Why doesn’t she dress herself more trendily? Why must she assert her views and point out your silly mistakes? Is she really the one for you?
To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time to reflect on your “love memory”. The “love memory’ contains all the reasons that you fell in love with her right from Day One. It contains rarely accessed snippets of how your life has changed since meeting and loving her.
Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her for the brave way she spoke her mind on bullies and snobs? You probably did. Did you like her unusual fashion sense that makes her stand out from the crowd? Right-o. So why are you criticising or finding fault with her now that she is your girlfriend?
Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love, like so many of us. You have forgotten the reasons you admired her during the friendship phase.
Instead, once you went steady, you put your “love memory” in cold storage.
As her boyfriend, you take up a new set of demands and expectations about her. These new ideas are not necessarily better; they could put your relationship at risk.
The Secret Of Strong Relationships
A healthy relationship, like learning to walk properly, follows a step-by-step development. You can’t possibly become part of a couple if you aren’t friends in the first place. Ok, I know some of us break the rule and plunge straight into whirlwind courtship, but how many of those couples can go the distance?
Couplehood works well when there is something you like about her (and vice versa), and I’m not referring to merely the physical aspects.
So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path, don’t give up without checking on your “love memory”. Rediscover the reasons why you fell in love with her, and watch your relationship flourish with a newfound vigour.
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KL vs Melbourne…
when i was walking on the street back from the library, i looked at everything on the street and enjoyed the cool wind, the peaceful city… and there came happening and happy scenes in kl in my mind… and i kept asking myself the same question – ‘why am i here?’ i really cant answer this with a good answer…
i was so eager to come here, hoping to get a new life here, a happy life with 100% freedom… do whatever i want… and i decided to forgo my lovely life in kl to look for another lovelier life in melbourne… melbourne is a nice place, peaceful, nice weather, friendly people… i have nice friends here, i have good time here… but then, all these are not making me a better life over here… i still prefer kl…
i dont like to be here actually… i miss my home… my parents… my buddies… my friends… i am so helpless here… i miss those times having fun with my friends, being a fool by doing so many stoopid things… being pampered by so many people who care about me… bullying my parents… crying my tears out and sharing my laughters with my friends… gossip around here and there… blablabla… i can now feel the warm weather in kl… it’s warm coz of many people surrouding me, protecting me, caring me…
living with my own, settling things myself, deciding so many decisions, take caring of myself, pittying myself, pampering myself, pretending to be tough person, pretending to be strong, pretending to be smart and independent… cannot let mommie and daddee know that i am so lousy, cannot let them worry about me… my god!! it’s so damn hard!! i am going crazy soon… i think i am not ready to be a proper adult yet, i still wanna enjoy my baby princess life… i know i have to be independent, but i dont like it i dont want to be one!!! can i always remain the same? i dont wanna grow up, i dont wanna face so many problems, i dont wanna think so much… i dont like to be an adult lar!!!! being an adult is so damn troublesome!! what the…
damn… should i go home? should i continue my studies in kl? should i leave melbourne? should i go back to my home sweet home? should i go back to hide myself under my big and warm roof? *miserable*